Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The Night Before Christmas in the California Assembly

'TWAS the night before Christmas
when all through the chamber
The leaders were grim, they couldn't be lamer;
The Dems wanted revenue, to buck up the state,
The Reeps wanted tax cuts; "they will stimulate!"
The members were wishing they could be in their beds,
It was clear - no solutions were there in their heads;
Karen Bass with her taxes, Villines' spending cap;
Were wondering how it had all turned to crap.

When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,
The two sprang from the floor to see what was the matter.
Away from the chamber they flew like a flash,
In the hopes they would find a great bag of cash.
When what to their wandering minds would appear,
But eight former Speakers, fully tanked up on beer.
Willie Brown at the head, Jess Unruh at rear,
And Bass and Villines were filled with such fear.

Willie whistled, and shouted, and called some by name -
"Now, McCarthy! now, Ralph Brown! now, Moretti, now Peek!
On! Monagan, on! Unruh, on! Collins, don't be weak!
We must tell these amateurs what we truly feel,
They must get their heads out to work on a deal!

Brown was dressed in Boroni
From his head to his foot,
And his pockets were lined
With favors and loot;
A bundle of budgets
He had flung on his back,
He looked like a Speaker
One who, yes - had the knack!

He spoke not a word
But went straight to his work,
Sharing the budgets
That said "get to work, jerk!"

They heard him exclaim
As he drove out of sight,

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