I don't know how I could write an entire post about Frozen Ropes and Dying Quails and not mention this song, but I did.
So let me just say that "Ted F*cking Williams" is one of the best songs on the album, and without question the funniest song.
The title refers to how Williams used to refer to himself when hitting batting practice: "I'm Ted F*cking Williams and I'm the greatest hitter in baseball!"
As we know, Williams was not the model of modesty, and that is reflected in the lyrics:
And everyone says "Say Hey!"
And everyone says "did you see that kid play?"
I've got to give that kid a hand but there's nothing he can do better than I can.
I'm Ted F*cking Williams!
Great, great stuff.