Thursday, February 08, 2007

More Zingers From Zimmerman

One of the most entertaining football columns of the season comes after the season ends - Paul Zimmerman's annual analysis of NFL announcers. Paul has high and exacting standards, and few of the teams working today meet them. I suspect that few teams have ever met them, but that's an entirely different topic.

This year, only one team - Brad Nessler, Ron Jaworski and Dick Vermeil - receives five stars. That team covered only one game all season - on ESPN the opening Monday night, because the network showed two games that night. His lowest rating, 0 stars, goes to ESPN's "A" team - Mike Tirico, Tony Kornheiser, and Joe Theismann. I agree with Zimmerman that this team was terrible, but in my mind part of the problem was the production philosophy, which led to the execrable weekly parade of the Network Stars, a loathsome trend that Zimmerman rightly deplores (and one which harkened back to the Howard and Dandy Don days). While they weren't good, I did think that they were better than the former ESPN Sunday Night crew (Mike Patrick, Paul Maguire, and Theismann), which for my money was the worst NFL announcing team of all time.

Zimmerman goes further than he normally does in this column with his dissection of the ESPN crew:
...Week 6, Chicago at Arizona, a defining moment for the Cardinals and their coach, Denny Green, and their offensive coordinator, Keith Rowen. The Cardinals are driving for the victory. The Bears can't stop them, no matter what defense they throw up. Rookie QB Matt Leinart is killing them with underneath passes, the same way Peyton Manning did in the Super Bowl ... ironic, huh? Down the field they come. Theismann has talked to Rowen, who told him that he knew he could beat the Bears this way ... if only Green would let him do it, but the coach was bugged by Edgerrin James bitching about not being permitted to close out the contest. This was the knowledge that Theismann had in the booth, and at one point in the drive, he muttered, "Don't stop throwing." It just popped out.

But they did stop. They reached the Chicago 23-yard line and brought in two tight ends and two running backs, the ultimate give up. Now Theismann had a decision to make. He could lay out his knowledge of the situation, as practically any honest announcer would, and it would have been fascinating, a real coup for a guy who has been much reviled during his career. But just then Kornheiser came up with one of his grade school pronouncements ... "You have to admit it, don't you ... you're rooting for them." And Joe, given the choice, opted for the low IQ route, a little bantering back and forth with his sidekick.

Well, the Cards' heavy offense was stopped and they missed the field goal and lost the game. And in his postgame press conference Green went into some contrived rage thing about how the Bears were "anointed." And then he made Rowen the scapegoat and fired him. The viewers of ESPN could have been privy to all this ahead of time, they could have been in on a real scoop. But Theismann chose to ignore journalistic integrity and play marbles with Bozo the Clown. Personally, the whole thing makes me sick.

Pretty strong words there. I'd love to be in the vicinity of Theismann if/when he reads that. I like Kornheiser in different settings, but on Monday night thought he fell into the Dennis Miller (ie waste of time) category. He's apparently coming back next season, but there's no doubt in my mind that this team would be better without him.

No comments: