Excerpts from "The Note"

OK, it will definitely lose something in the translation, but there are a few snippets that should be more than enough to provide a clue as to what the whole feels like.

"Jeff, I'll really be honest now - and this truly comes from my heart and may already touch on some I've written in those notes but I'll start...Our friendship is one true virtue where nothing can break our bond. But moreso, our own relationship, is one of greatness."

- As previously mentioned, the relationship would last four more months. And take note of the use of "moreso," which is sprinkled liberally throughout the letter. It was the source of much hilarity when my wife and our friend read through it after a couple of pitchers of margaritas.

"It's funny to think that in 3 or 4 years from now - we may not know each other (I hope not) and your new wife/girlfriend reads this, I hope you won't get embarrassed."

- Two things here - I think she was trying to say that she would still know me 3 or 4 years from now, though it doesn't quite read that way. As for the embarrassed part - yeah, sure.

"I believe that in this short time, we've found out each other's feelings, although I may not always believe you..."

- ...and please pay no mind to that sharp knife I have trained on your back while you're not looking.

"You have a part of me that I can never give anyone else."

- I feel it important at this juncture to state for the record that we did not know each other, in the biblical sense.

"I realize you may not believe this, but how can you give that part of yourself to someone else? It's impossible - and the part I gave you and still am, comes from my heart & soul."

- I can only wonder whether this made any sense in 1977.

"P.S. Love is only understood by those who are in love.........(explaining this short story)

- This must have been directed at my parents, and the notion in her mind that they might try to read what was in my Yearbook. But I'm pretty sure that the note didn't make any sense to me back then, so I probably should have saved myself four months and high-tailed it out of there right then.

And there you have it.

The Legendary Yearbook Note - To Post or Not To Post?

As moral quandaries go, this one really scrapes the bottom of the barrel, but here goes...

As the 12 or so people who follow this blog on a regular basis know, I've been having some fun in recent days by posting what folks wrote in my high school yearbooks. The plan all along was to conclude the series by posting the entirety of what I am convinced is the single most embarrassing note ever written in a high school yearbook.

The note in question was written by my girlfriend at the time, and even 32 years later it's a bit painful for me to read. But at the same time, it is hysterically funny. My wife and a good friend of ours once spent the better part of a Friday evening having fun with it at my expense, and the laughter from that night still rings in my ears. But that was in a private setting.

This afternoon, I posted a "sneak preview" of the note, taking a photo of it with my trusty Blackberry and posting it on the blog. Little did I realize that when you opened the photo to its full size, the note was very easy to read (maybe not very easy, but easy enough). And since I'm cross-posting this series on my Facebook page, a couple of intrepid friends did exactly that. The consensus seems to be that hilarity would indeed ensue, but that the note was embarrassing to the point where it might seem horrifying should the person in question ever find out that so many people were having fun, essentially, at her expense.

So the question of the day, dear readers...post, or not to post? Am I poking fun at myself, or being needlessly cruel to someone whom I haven't laid eyes on for over 30 years? [Not that this is relevant, but she did dump me for one of my friends.]

You can weigh in here, or by commenting on my Facebook page. And in the meantime, I've taken the "photo post" of the note down.

Yearbook Autographs Part III

Part III - "My Friends Were Dorks"

First, an explanation of the photo. This is a picture of the 1978 Decamhian, my senior year, that is currently on sale on E-Bay. I'm not sure what is sadder - that someone would sell their old high school yearbook (for $65!), or that someone out there might actually buy it.

But no matter...on to the dorkiness. But again, these notes just make me cringe in contemplation of what I might have written in their yearbooks.

"For your info Jeffrey Marquette was the NCAA champ and Al McGuire is not a commi [sic]. They are No. 1. Wait till next year. Later, Tim. P.S. Marquette Rules."

- Marquette won the NCAA basketball championship that year, and I was not a fan. Based on this, I must have taken Al McGuire's name in vain at some point during the tournament.

"To Jeff: Wherever you go, whatever you do remember: THE OAKLAND RAIDERS RULE!! Mike"

- Except for those years down in L.A., I suppose.

"Jeff - Don't listen to Mike he doesn't know what he is talking about. RAMS RULE! Kevin"

- Those Rams, of course, being the Los Angeles variety. As things turned out, they never ruled.

"Jeff, I just want to say that I am the best basketball player in the world. Kevin"

- That was Kevin the previous year. Kevin was about 5'2".

"Jeff, I guess it was only sheer luck that I had you in only one class. Have a good summer and may Zaius watch over you always. Thomas

P.S. ROXY MUSIC SMELLS

STYX IS GREAT!!

- Thomas and I had an ongoing debate over the relative merits of Roxy Music and Styx. I'd like to think that history has vindicated me. The Zaius thing still mystifies me today...but there were several guys that walked around saying "May Zaius be with you" for about four months.

Next installment: A sneak preview of the single most embarrassing yearbook note in the history of humankind.

Yearbook Autographs Part II

Part II - "Girls drop hints that I don't pick up on"

"Ladies Man" was never a phrase used to describe me in high school - or any other time, for that matter. And truth be told, these notes probably represent girls who were just trying to be nice. But then again, who's to say, 30+ years down the road?

"Jeff - I wish I knew you better than just practically your name. Hope I didn't bother you too much this year in General Business. Have a great summer! Friends always, Bren"

- Boy, that must have been some General Business class. Wish I could remember it.

"Hi Jeff! Didn't get to talk to you much this year. Hope we can fix that! Keep up the good work in school and stay nice. Have a good summer! Love, Nancy"

- I think I remember who wrote this. But since she didn't put down her last name, I'll never know for sure.

"Jeff - Even though we've been going to the same school since 6th grade, I really don't know ya very good but we still have 2 more years! Love, Cindy"

- Two more years didn't make a difference.

OK, so that was pretty dull, when you get right down to it. I think the next installment, "My friends were dorks," will be a big improvement.

High School Yearbook Autographs

It's amusing and somewhat horrifying to go back 31 years later and read what people wrote in my high school yearbooks. It kinda makes me wonder what I wrote in theirs, which is not something I really want to give much thought to.

For the next few days, heading right up to the day of #1 son's graduation, I thought it would be fun to examine some of what I found. And on the last day, you'll get to read what I'm quite confident is the single most embarrassing note ever written in a high school yearbook - for me certainly, and I hope for the person who wrote it, if she even remembers. More I cannot say, but trust me that it still sends shivers up and down my spine. But at the same time, it's absolutely hysterical.

My Freshman and Senior years, our yearbooks came out late, so mine from those years are - mercifully - relatively clean. So today, let's begin with the Decamhian (stands for "Del Campo High Annual" - get it?) from 1976 - my Sophomore year.

[Note: last names left out, to protect the innocent and the clueless]

Let's start with the basics:

"Have a good summer." - Jon

- Hard to go wrong with that one, really. Incredibly dull, but at the same time embarrassment-proof. And Jon was a good guy; I saw him at the 30-year reunion last fall. So we'll give him a pass.

"Thanks for making the conversation more lively in General Business." - Will

- Yep, that's me; livens up every room he walks into. Although that doesn't sound too hard to do in General Business.

"To the bowler with all the troubles. Better luck next year. Have a nice summer." - Tim

- I really don't get this one, because I was a pretty good bowler. Must have been an early version of trash talk.

"To a good but quiet friend." - Greg

- I guess he wasn't in the class where I livened up the conversation.

"So mad you didn't do better." - Ben

- Gosh, I'm really sorry about that, Ben. I wish I could remember what the hell it was you were talking about.

Next edition: Girls drop hints that I don't pick up on.